From the Bottom Rung
Top Ten Reasons You Should Buy My CD 10. It’s not available at Wal-Mart. They called me and begged me to let them sell it there, but I told them that until they stopped their no good stinkin' human rights abuse and labor law violating ways, I wouldn't even consisder it. No shit. They called me. I'm not making this up. Really. See? I have integrity! Buy my CD for Christ’s Sakes! Okay, they didn't call me. But I'd tell them to piss up a rope if they did! 9. PleasantVille was my idea before it was Hollywood’s and I have the copy-write to prove it. I conceived of the whole thing and wrote the title track in 1997, a year before the movie “Pleasantville” came out. I’ll get it scanned and posted on this website soon so you’ll know I’m not a just a drunken bullshitter. “PleasantVille” is MY original idea. It just took me awhile to get at it, that’s all. 8. I just lowered the price to $10.00 instead of the $12.97 suggested by the folks at CD Baby. It’s a bargain! You can’t afford NOT to buy my CD. 7. It’s a great record. Really. Didn’t you read the review of my songs from TimeOut London on the front of my webpage? RootsTime in Belgium called it a “poetic musical gem”. God almighty folks they love it in Europe. What’s the matter with you people! 6. I need the money. There’s a reason my production company is called, “Bottomrung Productions”. I’m poor. I’m on the bottom rung of the economic ladder. Give me a break. Plus my grandma needs an operation. 5. It’s a great Christmas gift. While it’s certainly true that “PleasantVille” is an exceedingly dark and dreary portrait of contemporary American life, my Christmas song “A Hell of A Time” makes the entire record indispensable to any serious collector of Christmas music. No shit! 4. I don’t have the room in our small house to store these damn things forever. My wife is already getting pissy about it. You don’t want to see my marriage fail do you? Of course not. For a measly ten bucks you can help me avert this personal disaster. 3. I’m a great guy. Ask anyone who knows me. Well, maybe not just anyone. I’ll tell you what, shoot me an email and I’ll send you back a list of references. 2. It may be worth a lot of money someday. You never know. Maybe years after I’m dead it’ll catch on like hell and a single copy will go for tens of thousands of dollars on E-Bay. What an investment opportunity! The number one reason you should buy my CD? 1. If you don’t buy a copy of PleasantVille the terrorists win. It’s that simple. We’re all counting you Mr., Mrs., or Ms. independent music aficionado. I’m confident you’ll do the right thing. Steve Carlson |